I posted some of this on Facebook but wanted to expand on it, so I decided to write a longer blog posting. Caution, there is real talk here, so if you don’t like the truth, then you probably don’t need to read this. 🙂
I don’t talk about my life before Christ too often, even though I know it will/could help someone. And I find that it is important to be transparent. I encourage you to ask questions, mainly for the fact, I like to talk and get bored if I don’t, plus most people have trouble understanding.
As someone that has come out (for the lack of better words) of the gay lifestyle; it is important to remember that even if we disagree with someones lifestyle, you have to be polite. I know that God has gave me freedom and seen His light, but others have not yet and we have to be respectful to them.
I lived in the gay lifestyle for about 11 years, even though I didn’t ‘officially’ come out until 2012 to some friends, then 2014 to the world. I was even married for 5 years, woah, what you were married?? Yes, I was from 2009 to 2014.
I forget to mention something, I was going to church all during this time, and thought I was a Christian, but deep down knew I was ‘playing’ that relationship and church. So, I knew what God can do in other’s life and what is possible with Christ, but didn’t really experience it fully.
What you have to understand about the gay lifestyle is that being gay is way more then sex. It was about finding love and satisfaction in a person that you couldn’t find anywhere else. The nagging thoughts of you are worthless were there. But, I find refuge in looking a gay porn. This ruined my life, anyone that has been addicted to porn knows that its hard to get away from it. We all have struggles and temptations that we deal with.
After my divorce in 2014, I left church in April of that year. That summer of 2014 was what I thought the best times of my life, but knowing now what I do, it was hell on earth. I was smoking weed, I was drinking, I was being a sex crazy person. I almost ended up with a sexual harassment suit against me for dumb comments I made.
But, needless to say all during this time, God had a plan, I had 2 really good friends from the church I attended for years and the pastor who cared about me. They would come and see me and just talk life at my work. They wouldn’t pressure me to come to church and accepted me for me. I decided one week in August of 2014 to give church a try again; first week back, not bad, second week back, different story. I had looks from people and it hurt deeply. I remember telling one of my friends there about it and they told the pastor and him and I had lunch that week and talked about how I was pushing the limits for some people’s comfort zones, but it was needed. Any who, continue to go to church all that month and then I had a convo with my best friend in mid-September, that I was tried of the gay life and wanted to give my heart fully to God. So, on September 24th, 2014 (which happens to be 2 years and 3 months from the time I told my ‘friends’ I was gay), I gave my full life to God. And was baptized on the 28th of September 2014.
I knew that God was calling me for more then what I had and I decided it was time to quit the job I was at for 5 years because I knew I couldn’t fully live for Christ if I was there in that environment.
Left it in October and then worked for McD’s (its a job, don’t judge) for a few months, then in December 2014 had a terrible car accident with my twin brother and niece in the car as well. I believe it was Satan ticked off and trying to kill me, I should be dead. But God had a different plan!
Needless to say after all I wrote, God will take the gay and use that life I was in for His glory.
Here are couple things that we can do if we have gay friends (this is what my friends did and it works):
1) Love them, you love them as people just like your own children
2) Accept them, you accept them into your homes, churches, small groups (the saying, hate the sin, love the sinner comes in play here)
3) Disciple them, show them Christ’s love through your love and acceptation and show them what God says in the Bible
Be patient, we all have disagreements, but that doesn’t mean you have a right to be harsh and mean!
God deserves all the glory for turning my gay lifestyle into freedom, I will always have the thoughts and temptations, but my choice is Jesus!